This isn’t a book on pick up artists and getting laid. This is a real life text book, far more valuable than any you will read at school, on the different psychology of women and men. No matter which sex you are, you could benefit with understanding more about the other, and this book will give you an insight into that understanding.
On saying that, any guy who finds it difficult in talking to or having sex with women, (known as an AFC or an Average Frustrated Chump) needs to read this book. This book is the true story of the author Neil Strauss (AKA Style) who joins a man nicknamed Mystery and together they lead a group of men that call themselves Pick up Artists (PUA). They are essentially a group of nerds who find it incredibly difficult to talk to women, let alone sleep with them. So they start banding together through the internet and in seminars to teach each other tricks and tips that work to convince women to have sex with them. The micro culture of PUA’s has all sorts of abbreviations and code talk used to communicate with each other. They then do everything they can to essentially they break down, analyse and “game” the woman psyche.
I doubt very much that the techniques explained in this book will work on every women but what it does is give men the tools needed to allow them to “break the ice” so to speak. A simple set of rules to follow that enables any man to have a shot with any woman. There is a checklist on page 38 of exactly what you have to do to approach a group or woman. There is a whole host of material which Style uses to get to know woman psychology better which is on pages 62-64. A complete list of what anyone anywhere can carry with them to make approaching a woman easier on Page 86. The complete Game is broken down so eloquently on page 236.
I don’t think I have ever taken so many quotes from a book, possibly with the exception of Freakonomics and I am aware that at times I have lifted entire paragraphs. I hope if Neil Strauss ever one day reads my blog he doesn’t feel like I intentionally infringe his copyright but this information contained in this book is priceless, certainly for the man to use to pick up women but also for women to understand the way a man thinks about women (which is mostly motivated by sex). It truly is fascinating stuff and incredible the way Neil Strauss has captured it not only by sharing this information but also the journey that it takes him on.
So at this present moment in time this is my favorite book ever because it is so insightful. Some of the reviews I have read online that slag men off and call them sad, mysognisit, sexist, pathetic, creepy, manipulative are pretty much spot on. I imagine certain individuals would find this book offensive and outright deny this would ever work. Mostly I expect they are the women in disbelief that this is true or men in denial. This book explains a true fact of life, men are always after sex but then it takes two to tango and not only do women want it as much if not more than men, it’s just that women have more emotion involved and different criteria on which they choose the man to sleep with and that is what men call playing the Game. Maybe if women were less worried about what others thought a little more like men then men wouldn’t have to convince them how kind, caring and interested they are when all they both want to do is fuck. After all it is the woman that chooses which men she sleeps with, not the other way around, all a man does is give the woman an opportunity to pick him. That’s exactly what this book explains how to do.
Favorite quotes from the book:
“The number one characteristic of an alpha male is the smile.” – Page 24
“The best predators don’t lie on the jungle floor with their teeth bared and claws out. The prey is going to avoid them. They approach the prey slowly and harmlessly, win its trust, and then attack.” – Page 57
“Women actually want sex as much – if not more than – men; they just don’t want to be pressured, lied to, or made to feel like a slut.” – Page 62
“Several key principles that guide the majority of people’s decisions. The most important of these is social proof, which is the notion that if everyone else is doing something, then it must be good. So if you are in a bar with a beautiful female friend on your arm, it’s much easier to meet women than if you are hanging out alone.” – Page 63
“Women, according to the speed seducers, aren’t persuaded by as easily by direct images and talk. They respond better to metaphor and suggestion. One of Ross Jeffries’s most famous patterns uses a Discovery Channel show about roller coaster design as a metaphor for the attraction, trust, and excitement that are often necessary preconditions for sex. The pattern describes the “perfect attraction”, which provides a feeling of excitement as the roller coaster rises to a summit and then whooshes down in a rush; then it offers a feeling of safety, because it was designed to allow you to have this experience in a comfortable, safe environment; finally, as soon as the ride is over, you want to climb back on it again and again. Even if it seems unlikely that a pattern like this will turn a girl on, at least it’s better than talking about work.” – Page 63
“According to Mystery, it takes roughly seven hours for a woman to be comfortably led from meet to sex.” – Page 72
“There is no such thing as failure, only learning lessons.” – Page 82
“Balding is not a choice, but bald is a choice, If anyone asks you why your head is shaved, tell them, ‘I used to have it down past my ass, but then I realised I was covering up my best feature'” – Page 84
“Anyone talking to a woman while simultaneously worrying about what she thinks of him is going to fail. Anyone caught thinking about getting into a woman’s pants before she starts thinking about what’s in his pants is going to fail. Most men fall into this category.” – Page 91
“One of the tragedies of modern life is that women as a whole do not hold a lot of power in society, despite all the advances made in the last century. Sexual choice, however, is one of the only areas where women are indisputably in control. It’s not until they’ve made a choice, and submitted to it, that the relationship is inverted – and the man is generally back in a position of power over her. Perhaps that is why women, to the frustration of men everywhere, are so cautious about saying yes” – Page 103
“On meeting a girl in a bar, he’d get her to say she was spontaneous and didn’t have any rules; then he’d get her to say that she was reluctant to leave the bar with him, he’d say, “I thought you were spontaneous. I thought you did what you wanted.” – Page 161
“Looks don’t matter, it’s all game.” – Page 169
“Beauty is common. It’s something you’re born with or you pay for. What counts is what you make of yourself. What counts is a great outlook and a great personality.” – Page 170
“You know what? When I look at you, I can see exactly what you looked like in middle school. And I’m willing to bet you weren’t so outgoing or popular then” – Page 171
“I bet a lot of people think you’re a bitch. But you’re not. You’re actually shy in a lot of ways.” – Page 171
“First, open. Then demonstrate higher value. Next, build rapport and an emotional connection. And, finally, create a physical connection” – Page 176
“Without commitment, you cannot have depth in anything, whether it’s a relationship, a business, or a hobby.” – Page 188
Victory belongs to the person with the strongest reality and the most decisive actions” – Page 199
“I’ve always lived for experience: traveling, learning new skills, meeting new people. But having a child is the ultimate experience. It’s what we’re here for.” – Page 200
“We have the idea that love is supposed to last forever. But love isn’t like that. It’s a free flowing-flowing energy that comes and goes when it pleases. Sometimes it stays for life; other times it stays for a second, a day, a month, or a year. So don’t fear love when it comes simply because it makes you vulnerable. But don’t be surprised when it leaves, either. Just be glad you had the opportunity to experience it” – Page 214
“Once unleashed, a woman’s physical needs are often more ravenous than a man’s. It’s just that there are certain barriers and programming walls to be overcome in order for her to feel comfortable enough to surrender them. I got good at the game because I understood that the goal of the PUA was simply not to trigger a woman’s shutdown or flight responses… Every part of the pickup is designed simply to anticipate and disarm objections” – Page 236
“There’s nothing more humiliating than having a lumbering high school quarterback who reeks of alcohol pick you up from behind and make fun of your peacocking gear in front of the girls you’re trying to game. It’s a constant reminder that you are not one of the popular kids, that you’re just a closet nerd faking it.” – Page 258
“The strong live off the weak and the clever live off the strong” – Page 258
“Religion is pickup. Politics is pickup. Life is pickup. Every day we have our routines, which we rely on to make people like us or to get what we want or to make someone laugh or to endure another day without letting anyone know the nasty thoughts we’re really thinking about them.” – Page 275
“According to the books I’d read on cold-reading, all human problems fall into one of three areas: health, wealth, and relationships. ” – Page 280
“I hung out with my friend Steve. P, who’s a guru and a shaman. And he had two of his students perform what he called a dual-induction massage on me. Their hands were moving in perfect synchronization on my back. And because your conscious mind can’t process all those movements, it disconnects and you feel like there are thousands of hands massaging you. It was amazing.” – Page 299
“If you describe anything with enthusiasm and congruence, people will want to try it – especially if you don’t give them the opportunity to say no.” – Page 299
“The less you appear to be trying, the better you do.” – Page 302
“I went onto autopilot. I opened with a jealous girlfriend. I gave myself a time constraint. I negged the target about her hoarse voice. I did the best friends test. C-shaped smiles versus U-shaped smiles. ESP experiment…. Evolution phase-shift. Smell. Pull hair. Bite arm. Bite neck. “How do you rate yourself as a kisser on a scale of one to ten?” – Page 307
“Among the required reading for all PUAs were books on evolutionary theory: The red queen by Matt Ridley, The Selfish Gene by Richard Dawkins,Sperm Wars by Robin Baker: You read them, and you understand why women tend to like jerks, why men want so many sexual partners, and why so many people cheat on their spouses. At the same time, however, you understand that the violent impulses most of us successfully repress are actually normal and natural. ” – Page 322
“Rapport equals trust plus comfort” – Page 334
“Capture the imagination first and the heart next. Interest plus attraction plus seduction equals sex.” – Page 347
“Never underestimate your own capacity to care.” – Page 369
“I feel strange and empty. Like after a shit.” – Page 370
“Men think about sex more than they will ever let women know. Teachers think about fucking their students, father’s think about fucking their daughters friends, doctors think about fucking their patients.” – Page 408
“If there was anything I’d learned, it’s that the man never chooses the woman. All he can do is give her an opportunity to choose him.” – Page 471, Absolutely the most truest quote in all the book.
“The great lie of modern dating is that in order to sleep with a women, a man must pretend I initially as if he doesn’t want to.” – Page 471
Overall: 98%